Nary a person standing does not feel some anguish, some pang of conscience over deeds done. Some even blackened to where their hope has dwindled to but a faint faint beam of light from a distance greater than they know. ....where we swim in our shame and wallow in our guilt. And neither goes but in a circle of contempt. Steps are meant to be taken in distance, not place. To those with little faith in themselves, know this. You are holy, you are loved and you are perfect, for God knows only perfection. And in that perfection He created you. Time is but our worldly dream, an illusion from which we wake in search of our perfection. We may not feel it now, nor imagine that we ever could..........but like our souls it does exist and given wisdom will resurface again. It is not lost, only unseen. Some worldly teachings, in the name of profit or judgement can be cruel and teach us wickedness does indeed exist in each of us. And that God Himself will judge us harshly and if we come up wanting, punishment will be swift and dear, more dear than one could ever begin to imagine. And so fear enters our lives. Fear of deprivation, fear of want, fear of ourselves and others, of our sins and of our hate. But our greatest fear of all is our fear of a God that knows not fear. We fear Him most intensely, we fear His retribution and His scorn.......for the world has taught us to deny ourselves by trading our own perfect self for want of mere worldly possessions and powerful ego's. If seen through the eyes of awareness, this seems most insane. for who would really deny themselves for nothing thereby giving over their sanity for insanity. In truth , we know ourselves better than that. Or do we?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Another day
Everyday is another opportunity given us to become our own genuine self. This was not meant to be confusing nor intimidating. Nor was it meant to be a holy secret that only the most devoted sage, brilliant scholar or wisest healer could ever begin to unravel..For it is very simple. Each are born in God's love. God's love is perfect. From that perfect love we were created. So how did it come to be that we know not who we are, that we are no longer the masters of our own lives. Simply life. Born into a day that knows not perfection, we live the days, weeks, months, years......and in doing so, collect much upon our journey......... quilt, hate, jealousy, contempt.........the most damaging of all is coming to believe we are not worthy......our sins too egregious, our thoughts too evil, our hearts too empty, our soul too bartered to what is not even real..... a worldly pleasure........a tempting trinket.....a profitable betrayal.......a betrayal to ourselves . In words, a life of some regret with sentence's yet to finish and conversations yet to have. All consequences of being born into the classroom of life.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
struggling with an "instant"
It is but a wish for most to feel 10 feet tall and indestructible. A time when worries, apprehensions and fears are not. Oftentimes faith can be moment to moment.....for sometimes that is all we have at one given time. But its important to remember that our foundation is set in stone...encased in the granite of our spiritual fortress. this is but a simple yet very great truth. We are all born perfect. That perfection is where our roots are firmly planted....and from there we will return, untouched by the hands of time.
Time can be such a heavy burden upon us. Within its confines we live a dream. It is in this dream which enables us to find our way back home....to that spot of perfection. The way can be fraught with guilt, mis perception and fear........enough to drown the mortal man if given its way. But there is also another passage. Like the birds who fly in favor of the wind, we but ask the Holy Spirit for direction......and then we are no longer walking, but soaring along our way. the Holy Spirit requires but a single given step towards healing ourselves and others.....the rest is His gift to us. Like the unseen wind....His arms will carry us forward............that is His reward to us, His love, His generosity, His perfection. He lends us His until we find our own.
When life appears to go wrong, it is not because we are bound. we are neither tethered nor denied except by our own purpose. It is not the destruction of darkness to be sought, but rather a luminosity which vanquishes it. For never has there been a light that darkness had but vanished. By the flip of a switch we know this to be true. To believe we are "steering the boat" becomes but a child's calamity. As if the Will of God could be misguided by unknowing hands. Darkness can only be brought to us by the ego's invitation. It becomes apparent that darkness is but of our own making. the further from light one travels, the more obscure the way becomes. Yet there are corners at every given step....and at those turns a lamp there rests. and the way is lit before us. There is no question of this.....only this.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The book that changes everything.........
Unique and unrivaled, the course enables proper discernment which allows us to use our perception and vision to see the Will of God in all we do. The time will come for all to see there really is no turning away. The fork in the road was long, long ago......further back than we consciously remember, and yet just a moment past that we have discovered the real difference between happiness and the want of it........As if there was a choice to be had, I journey towards a promise and a prayer and find my way between the two. Would that my footsteps be lighter still............so much more softly I would tread......And listen.........to the silence......beyond imagination, beyond space, beyond that which I have yet to learn..In this stillness God's Voice is heard. He will not shout to be heard. He will not raise His Voice a notch. He speaks in utter silence and fills the spirit with wisdom so longed for. It is up to each to hear Those words. For if we don't, it is only because the mind is neither quiet nor empty. Thoughts are yet clattering in the background drowning out the Words one longs to hear. In this I would sabotage my own pray, my own request by my own unreceptivness. Eyes cast down in reverence, ears ever sharp and ready, I travel to a place which takes me beyond space, beyond time, beyond the beyond I know not. A splendidly quiet place where concern has no residence and worry has no meaning. Like a feather falling from high, so airy and light, its descent is less than a whisper yet a nodge surely felt. This is where God's Voice is heard. In the meadow of our mind. In the betterment of our senses....in the seat of our contentment...... in the being of our spirit.... in the soul of our intuition, ..... in the beat of our heart. Look no further.....to do so is madness. It is in this sacred place of silent holiness we learn the truth, and we search no further.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Out of the darkness.............
There lies great comfort in knowing that while darkness may accompany me but for a brief while, knowledge becomes age old wisdom that diligently reminds me to remember to fight it not, to resist it not, but to surrender, that this to shall come to pass and in its wake pain will vanish along with fear and doubt.I need only recall the will that binds spirit to me, casting Its light and vision upon a well worn pathway leading straight to the arms of deliverance..
With closed eyes and open heart my prayer is offered up to the Holy Spirit.
"I pray Holy Spirit, that my burden be lightened, that my heart soar with joy knowing I will be lifted from this darkness. Help me fuel the fiery particle which appears but a sliver thin beam of light within myself and in those I had thought to oppose me. This glowing spark of knowledge and love will light my inner lamp with a brilliance I had long since forgotten."
My lessons from this have been many and of great consequence. Life is cyclical in both nature and spirit. Despite misgivings and doubts I fall back in the warm loving arms of faith and trust, love and knowledge.
The ego manages to rage uncontrollably within........wanting out from its confines to attack, to judge, to tempt, yet I know it will bring but a momentary illusionary relief...... and to give into its madness would be my own insanity. The egos talons can hold me fast and certain if I but allow it. So I must keep my attendance on the ego's rival and trust my being to the Holy Spirit. It is reality and eternity I seek. It is the gathering of every Son and Daughter of God within reach, sharing the wisdom and knowledge of our life's purpose. It is written, "Seek and you shall find....in this I promise."
Monday, July 19, 2010
Venus Flytrap
We vacationed this week in North Carolina. A small little island just minutes away from Wilmington............which is a great historic town. Shops are rather disappointing, but the charm oozes between the thick buckled bricks of the cobblestone walkways. We found a very quaint garden shop..................Greg wanted to buy something for my b-day ..........on a back table up against a wall my eyes fell on a replica of a bee skep( a domed hive made of twisted straw). Companion less and solitary, it sat by itself...........so unique, so wondrous. Although it was a likeness, I had never seen one outside of the pages of my bee books and journals. These skeps were used across the pond in pre-1500. I don't know if they ever made their way to North America. Being a beekeeper I could only marvel in awe and knew it had just found its permanent home.
We had lunch in an oyster bar in the old Cotton Mill which faced the Cape Fear River. Had the best charbroiled hamburger.......done to perfection on a toasted bum. My mouth is watering now.
Greg took a tour on the Carolina Battle Ship that was in the war while I danced through the parking lot collecting Spanish moss that hung from the trees like antique lace.
What made the trip so unique was the Venus Flytrap. The only place in North America they grow in their own natural habitat is in Carolina State Park, just minutes from our condo. So of course I had to see them. This would most probably be my only chance.
I inquired with a park ranger and he told me they were located on the Venus Flytrap Trail........behind a rickety wooden section of fence with a "Do not Enter" sign............beyond that, he said, you will find them.
What he didn't tell me was that they are so small and so few that had I been looking straight at them, I wouldn't have seen them. Lucky for me there were others searching. So I shared my information with them and we were all very gingerly walking off the trail and through the grasses and plants............our heads bent low......whisper quiet as if our silence depended on finding them. For the life of me I could not spot any......just as I was about to go back to the ranger station........someone yelled, "We found them". And there they were. Tiny clusters of green and red traps. And they were so lovely. The Venus Flytrap is a small plant. Their trapping mechanism is so specialized that it can distinguish between living prey (flies, spiders and other insects) and non prey like rain drops.
The edges of their lobe are fringed by stiff hair-like protrusions. They are both unique and magical. Life is full of wonder..................
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Friday, June 11, 2010
Beekeeping at its best
It's been 7 weeks since I installed my bee's. I started out with weekly visits, which then grew to bi-weekly. I've fed them (sugar water), clean off all the burr comb, inspected each frame for brood, eggs, larvae and pollen. The queen always looked to be busy, running from one cell to another laying eggs faster than I can locate them. By the way, the marking Donna gave her is still a very becoming fluorescent green.
I've had to destroy a couple of wasp nests that decided to take up camp inside the hive. They are very persistent and I've had to kick them out on three occasions. Then there were the ants. They wanted what they believed to be their share of the sugar water I was feeding the bees. I read somewhere that if I put cinnamon all around and create this barrier, the bees would leave as they detest that smell. It bothers the bee not at all.
Well, since all I had were cinnamon sticks I used those. The following week the ants had quadrupled their numbers! I was pissed! And worked feverishly to rid the hive of every last nuisance. All these ( tidying the hive ) tasks could be trying, but needed doing.
On this visit I had discovered that my attentiveness and care had paid off. Royralily. Wonderfully, Spectacularly. Miraculously.
Bees were everywhere! They almost looked to be forming a swarm. I pumped the smoker quickly, streams of grey smoke billowing all around them as head first they dove deeper into the super. Just weeks ago I had added another super with 8 frames. They were almost full again! The upper frames were bulging with honey. This beautiful, golden, thick, rich honey.
The morning sun was hot, the air still and heavy with humidity, droplets of sweat running down my face beneath the cumbersome veil. It was then I really understood the importance of surgeons having their foreheads wiped. Its difficult to see with salty sweat impeding your vision.
Working my way through, frame by frame, I saw just how their numbers had multiplied. And the brood filled comb was further proof that this hive was thriving. Contentment surged. My chest felt warm. My heart felt love. My smile widened as I wiped the moisture from my eyes. This is beekeeping. Its like watching your babies grow. This wonderful hive of mine will make a difference in the world. To know I have nurtured this along fills me with both humility and pride.
Thy will be done.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The Great Smokey Mountains
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Its magnificents fill me up and I'm inspired to be more.........the peace and silence washes over me making clean all the tarnished places that brought me to this place of serenity. As I gaze into this kind of bounty it enables me to see the real importance of life. ........appreciation and the acquisition of peace.
I want to be more than a spectator. I want to lie down and spread myself upon its surface and allow the rain, sun and shade of the seasons to penetrate my spirit. Its so alive here. The birds sing their morning songs of contentment and excitement for the new day ahead......spiders weave their webs on any branches or growth that will support their life. And then there are the flowers...................The azalea's are the real show stoppers.......their blooms rich, deep, distinct, intense and brilliant. Their resplendent and luminescent color surreal.. They are simply that outrageously exquisite and captivating robed in pinks, fuchsia, reds and purples............Their blooms dare not last the summer, as their beauty would cast shadows over the rest of the forests foliage.
We take a trail, the quickly moving stream on one side..........the lush forest foliage on the other. So many spring flowers on display..........a fairy wand, a dense , elongated cluster of little white flowers on a wand-like stalk, painted trillium, dwarf Isis's, may apples, Canadian violets.... foam flowers....even a rare finding Jack-in -the-pulpit.
In these moments, joy becomes who you are and a confidence... a knowingness lifts your doubts as they disappear like smoke form a faltered flame. This is peace.....happiness in its purest form. And if I fail to feel it....if I ever fail to feel a thing of beauty, it becomes a gift I have overlooked, not recognized........ a tragic loss.
Yes, I have come here to the mountains to heal.......its beauty and power demand my submission......and with reverence I bow my head with humble gratefulness and the miracle before me.
Of course we shop........The black bear tea company....teas from all over the world. I must admit that regular 'store bought tea is not for me.' I select the peach - apricot, and the ground ginger for soothing and a more tranquil disposition. It is by far the cleanest, purest tea I have ever indulged in. Fudge for Mom....post cards for Dad.......the unique craft village (an 8 mile loop of fabulous shops carved from the creative side of long time residences........information centers overflowing with history and color and amazement......the hot tub overlooking mountain vistas as I sip a late afternoon cocktail............dinners out, dinners in. Makes little difference as beauty surrounds us wherever we go.
Its hard to imagine places where time stands still and erect. You can hear a single leaf falling through the branches of a tree and softly and soundlessly falling to the ground. Birds glide with such ease and gracefulness you can feel yourself along for the ride, adrenlin rushes in from the high.........scampering squirrels.....woodchucks..........and if your as fortunate as Greg, a sighting of bears crossing the road caring not for anything except their next meal.
This place of reverence I would share with you. Coming here is like stripping the barnacles from a ship................we become again what we once were but have forgotten. Can we even remember what that was. And if we don't.........well..........we can only understand that our journey is in search of its discovery.
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